A Long-Awaited Meal

I'm sorry! See?

I've a sad face and everything!

Anyway...

The Chocolate 'Surprise'

You know how there are some things that just shouldn't be done? Well, the atrocity you're about to witness is one of them. And, boy, oh, boy, is it a dozy.

To The Birds

Yes, yes. I know. Most people are, at the very least, vaguely excited by V-Day. But I'm not gonna lie. If I had my way, it wouldn't exist. Not around me. I don't really care what you do with your own time. That's your business. But just please, please don't take up mine with your sentimental. I'm not interested. Not even a little bit. I don't want any cards, chocolates, kisses...nothing. Just some peace and quiet. That's all I ask.

Honestly, I just don't get the whole Valentine's thing. Like, all of these girls are running around, twisting their boyfriends round and round their pinkies, and there's hearts everywhere. It's freakin' nuts.

And, well...do my fellow females honestly think that guys really care about you, just because they get you something for ChocDay (as I call it)? That what they get you is an accurate representation of how they feel towards you? 'Cause that's just ridiculous.

Turkey Day

Thanksgiving is such a waste. It's not even really about being thankful for anything. Well, maybe Turkey. And Pilgrim figurines. But that's about it. Really, when you think about it, it's just a good excuse to get out of school. Yay, the Indians helped the Puritans bring down a wrinkly old bird. It was already having a bad hair - feather? - day. Did they really have to kill it? And to think, Good Old Franklin actually considered making the turkey our national symbol. Ick.